Teamwork Tuesday-- Heather

 

"Heather" is a tiny ten-year-old who is waiting to meet her new family. Besides her Down syndrome, Heather does not have any reported medical problems. She's a beautiful girl. Her hair looks like it may be strawberry blonde; I'd love to see her with long hair. Do you know someone who is looking to adopt? Consider sending them this link to Heather's info: http://reecesrainbow.org/26409/heather2001

Teamwork Tuesday- R.J.

"The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children." 

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Meet R.J.! This blonde three-year-old has Down syndrome and is facing transfer to an institution this year. Does someone have room in their heart and home for this little guy?

Teamwork Tuesday-- Brent

"There are oodles of other reasons to smile today. You're one in a zillion." -Linda Maron

 

"Brent" is surely "one in a zillion"!

I absolutely love this kid's smile! He's clearly got a lot of personality. I'm sure he will bring much joy to his adoptive family.

Brent is 7 and living in an institution in Eastern Europe. He has Down syndrome and some other health issues. The good news? Well, look at that smile! He's clearly a survivor who is looking for a place to THRIVE. Also, there is a $10K grant available towards his adoption. For more info (or to donate additional funds towards his adoption), check out the listing on Reece's Rainbow.

Reece's Rainbow

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  -James 1:27

"God sets the lonely in families...." -Psalms 68:6

In some countries, most babies born with Down syndrome are given up at birth with almost no chance of being adopted within their native country. Even worse, in some Eastern European nations, these little ones are sent to mental institutions (with poor conditions) as young as age 4. Reece's Rainbow helps provide awareness of these children with Down syndrome (and other disabilities, as well as HIV infection) who are available for international adoption and helps potential adoptive families raise funds.

 

I have friends who have adopted children internationally, as well as friends who are generally against international adoption. Here's my perspective. Ideally, children should be cared for by their biological families. When their parents are unable to raise them (because the parents are no longer living or because of psychological and sociological factors), the best case scenario would be for another relative to raise the children. However, that's not always possible. In these situations, I would suggest that the third best option would be local adoption, within the children's nation. Again, for a multitude of reasons, the need for adoption in some countries far outnumbers the national parents looking to adopt. This is particularly true in countries where children with disabilities are often given up for adoption (meaning, a greater number of kids without parents) because these cultures often contain attitudes that believe children with disabilities belong in institutions, not families (meaning, fewer local parents wanting to adopt these kids).

 

Of course, working within the culture to see a change in these attitudes is important. The work of Russian non-profit, Downside Up , has resulted in a significant decrease in children with Down syndrome being given up in Moscow. More of these kids are now being raised by their biological families and provided with services to help their kids develop and flourish. This is ideal.

However, this type of change takes time, and in the meantime, there are children who are languishing in overcrowded, under-staffed institutions.  Here is a video that shows the type of conditions some of these children face.

 

I've seen similar videos about other Eastern European countries and China. Of course, not all of the institutions are that bad. Still, none are "home." These kids need families.

 

To that end, I'm going to help by "featuring" some of these children on my blog, following the schedule of the FB group Teamwork Tuesday (where all the members feature the same child on the same day). Reece's Rainbow is making an impact. In six years, over 500 of the children on the Reece's Rainbow website have made their way home to families. 

 

In addition, I've signed up for their Prayer Warriors program, which matches each volunteer with a child. My "child" is "Tyler."  He's 10, and despite his young age, has been in four different institutions. At one point, he was in a very dismal mental institution, but thankfully, he's now in a smaller group home. Tyler has Down's syndrome. He absolutely loves dogs and gets excited when he sees dogs near the group home. I'm praying that a family with a dog will adopt him.

 

Here's a picture of Tyler:

 

Isn't he a handsome little guy?

 

Media Reviews Get Their Own Blog!

I've decided to create an additional blog, Mass Media Musings, that I will use solely for the purpose of reviews and commentary on books, movies, tv shows, articles and music. Both of my blogs are public, but this way, I can refer someone to my media review site without specifically sending them to this site, which contains personal posts as well.

The power of disconnection

A friend of mine posted a link to this New Yorker article about Tyler Clementi and his roommate, Dharun Ravi (by Ian Parker). I see it largely as a story about the power of DISconnection. Whether Ravi is guilty of harassment is something for the courts to decide. (He's clearly guilty of invasion of privacy.) However, I wonder how differently this situation might have played out had Ravi extended kindness to his shy roommate.

In the article, Ravi comes off as brash and narcissistic, a show-off craving attention and scorning those he deemed beneath him. Like many teen guys, he seems a bit threatened by his roommate's homosexuality. According to the New Yorker, his interactions with others seemed to revolve around attempts to impress or mock. I am reminded of these lines from the movie, Crash (2004):

It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

For all his bravado, I wonder if Ravi was feeling disconnected.

Clementi obviously was. He seemed to have few, if any close friends. In an IM conversation, he confessed his difficulties interacting with others, "“I NEED conversation . . it’s just that i can’t DO it.” Lacking the confidence and social skills to develop meaningful connections, it seems that Clementi instead reached out online and found an older man with whom to “hook up.” It was Clementi’s encounters with this individual that Ravi viewed via his web cam and then invited others to view.

Did this exposure cause Clementi to commit suicide? It’s so hard to know another person’s motivations. It’s unlikely that his suicide was prompted by one thing. However, I’m sure that this embarrassment was another source of pain in a life that may have seemed overwhelming. Clementi left notes—presumed to be suicide notes—but these writings have not been released by the police, even to the family.

According to US Suicide Statistics, “Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15-24” (http://www.suicide.org/suicide-statistics.html). In addition, although more women attempt suicide, more men complete suicide. Young men are particularly vulnerable to impulsive acts of suicide. Further, those who are GLBT are at an even higher risk for suicide. Despite all of these risk factors, I can’t help but thinking that this story didn’t have to end this way.

What if these college roommates had acknowledged the mismatch of their rooming together, put down their phones and computers, and shared a laugh, a pizza, a tv show, some humanity? Would they have become best friends? It’s doubtful, but there’s a chance that Tyler Clementi might still be alive and that Dharun Ravi wouldn’t be on trial.

Review of Love Is an Orientation

The premise of Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community (by Andrew Marin) is quite simple; as Christians, we are called to love-- not evaluate or judge-- our neighbors. It is precisely this simplicity that makes Love Is an Orientation such a powerful book for its intended audience-- primarily straight, conservative, evangelical Christians.

Marin fit into the intended audience well and gave little thought to the struggles of those in the GLBT community who were also interested in Christianity....until three of his closest friends came out to him in one year. In response, Marin sought to learn more about the gay community, and he did this by immersion-- spending time in primarily gay bars, just talking to people. Unsurprisingly, he discovered that many had been deeply hurt by the Christianity community. Perhaps more surprising to some, he discovered that many also long for a way to connect with God. What began as a way to understand his friends blossomed into a calling. Marin (now married) chose to move to a predominantly gay section of Chicago, develop relationships and seek to build a bridge between the GLBT community and the Christian Church.

Marin and his foundation have gone to Gay Pride parades wearing shirts that say, "I'm sorry," and holding signs that apologize for the way that the GLBT community has been treated by the Church and by Christians. (Read one account here: "I Hugged A Man in His Underwear, and I Am Proud," and more about it here: "A Different Kind of Demonstration at Gay Pride.")

In this book, Marin helps Christians understand common aspects of the GLBT worldview (as much as this can be generalized), including questions and barriers that prevent GLBT individuals from wanting to connect with Christians, churches or God. He explains common things that Christians say that are particularly upsetting or hurtful to those who are GLBT, ways to avoid arguments (and instead elevate the conversation) and how to build bridges through relationships and unconditional, active love that accepts that people are all on their own complex journeys.

Marin writes about an experience he had during a worship service, accompanied by some gay Christian friends:

I realized...this time of worship...was only supposed to be about him [Jesus]. It was not about acceptance, validation or condemnation of gays and lesbians. It was not about the gay Christian movement, a pro-gay theology or traditional biblical interpretations of Scripture. It was not about differences or similarities or anything that my mind could futilely try to comprehend that morning. It was about Jesus. It's always been about Jesus and I lost sight of that.

For the very first time I substantially knew in the depths of my soul that I didn't have to worry about all of those other things because they were not mine to worry about. I was making it my deal, making it my baggage and making it my worry, and I didn't have to do any of that. When did I become God? When did I have to figure it all out? When did I have to come up with a position point on every single topic ever thought of in the history of mankind? I didn't; and I don't. I am allowed the ability to just trust in the faithfulness of my loving Father to fill in the gaps that I can never understand. (79).

Marin calls for Christians to begin to heal the damage done to the GLBT community by the Church through active love. He writes,

What do these tangible, measurable and unconditional behaviors look like? They are a nonjudgmental safe place-- an environment that fosters a trustworthy relationship with someone else. Love is a walk, a hug, a dinner, an ear, a fun trip-- all free of the condemning and ostracizing that the GLBT person "knows" is coming from Christians. This type of love says that no matter who you are, no matter what you do or no matter what you say I have your back, and I refuse to give up-- whether or not there's "change"-- because my Father will never give up on me. (108-109).

In my opinion, one of the most powerful sections of the book is the Appendix, which consists of three personal essays from three individuals who have found different ways to reconcile their Christian faith with their sexuality. For one lesbian woman, this has meant embracing her sexuality and living as an openly gay Christian. Another man, who previously attracted to men, writes that God has changed his sexual orientation. A third gay Christian believes that God requires him to be celibate. None of these viewpoints are presented by Marin as the "right" perspective. Each is included as a personal testimony of how this particular person is currently integrating his or her understanding of his or her faith and sexual identity.

I think this book is desperately needed, and I would highly recommend it to all evangelical Christians. Unfortunately, a look at Amazon.com shows that it is currently #45,159 in Books.
(To provide a frame of reference, the most recent Joyce Meyer's book is #911 in Books.) This means, it's probably not getting into the hands of those who need it the most. Perhaps the title scares the more conservative? Really, they have nothing to fear. Just as Marin isn't judging the GLBT community, he is not judging conservative Christians. However, he does ask them to re-think their attitudes and behaviors and see if they are in line with what Jesus called the second commandment-- to love our neighbors as ourselves.

In the Forward, Brian McLaren writes, "Whatever your opinion on same-sex orientation, you have to admit that Jesus didn't say, 'They'll know you are my disciples by your firm stance on divisive social issues.' No, he said we'll be know as his disciples for another reason...and that's what Andrew is pursuing in these pages" (13).

For more information about Marin's work, see his foundation's website: http://www.themarinfoundation.org/.