See, I told you it was hot here!

According to the CDC, Arizonans are 3-7x more likely to die of heat-related causes than people in the rest of the country. (See, I'm really not exaggerating about it being hot!)

My last day of work was Fri. I went out to lunch with a friend, and we went to an Indian buffet. It had been a really long time since I'd had Indian food, and this food was very yummy. Since then, I've been laying low with Pippin. She's been enjoying the quality "bird time." Tomorrow, I will take her to the vet for her annual visit and nail clipping. I have a yoga class later in the day. I'll tape the House season finale. Nothing too exciting.

I'm pretty confident that I'll be re-hired in July or Aug. so I'm going to enjoy my free time....and try to stay out of the heat!

General disappointment

Mona van Duyn writes, "For what is story if not relief from the pain, of the inconclusive, from the dread of the meaningless?" Yes. Exactly. And that is precisely why the season (and now, series) finale of Veronica Mars is unacceptable. Too many loose ends, too inconclusive. What happened to epic? (Okay, so even though they're not together, Logan will still beat up any guy who might be responsible for streaming videos of VMars en flagrante delicato...but I need something more substantial than that!) I want resolution, damn it! And now I'm not going to get it. To be fair, they taped the final two episodes prior to the announcement of...er, non-renewal. So...I guess you want to keep a bit of dramatic tension to get viewers to tune in for the next season. But seeing as there won't be a next season, I think we need a 2 (or 10) hour special to wrap these things up. More specifically, we need plenty of time for Veronica and Logan to get back together and buy a cabana and live happily ever after (in between fights and sarcasm). I'm just sayin'. There is a lot of chatter about writing virtual seasons or endings, and that's cool. If people get those done, some will probably be better than any "real" alternative.

Just because about 10 people ask each day, I'll update you on the grants. So far, no news. Well, except for the Hamburger Helper Hometown Helper grant, which we didn't get. They did, however, send me a consolation prize-- a single serving of Hamburger Helper. Somehow, I wasn't all that consoled (especially since I don't eat hamburger).

Ouch

Ow. I have a migraine. Again. Since moving to Tucson, my migraines significantly decreased in frequency. For the past 3 years, I've only been getting 1-2 migraines per month, sometimes less. This past month, I've been getting 1-2+ migraines per week. That is a 400% increase. I just wanted to share that. Now I will put ice on my head and take some Imitrex and try not to puke.

Random quotes (from my collection)

*Indifference and neglect often do more damage than outright dislike. -J.K. Rowlings

*For frequent tears have run/ The colors from my life and left so dead/ And pale a stuff. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

*With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. -Steven Weinberg

*I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people that annoy me. -Noel Coward

*One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. -Bertrand Russell

*Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soulmate is the one you are actually married to. -J.R.R. Tolkien

*Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets. -Paul Tournier

*Golf is a good walk spoiled. -Mark Twain

*To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it. -Voltaire

*Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed. -Shakespeare :)

*For where thou art, there is the world itself, and where thou art not, desolation. -Shakespeare

*Everyone can be great because everyone can serve. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

*If you judge people, you have no time to love them. -Mother Teresa

*Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better. -Shakespeare

*Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. -Bertrand Russell

*The success of love is in the loving-- it is not the result of loving. of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done. -Mother Teresa [That's encouraging for those of us in the helping professions!]

*A critic is a manwho knows the way but can't drive the care. -Kenneth Tynis

*Nothing is really work unless you'd rather be doing something else. -James M. Barrie

*If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. -Thomas Edison

*For Christ plays in ten thousand places,/ Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his/ To the Father through the features of men's faces. -Gerald Manley Hopkins

[BTW, for any of you who may care, Veronica Mars was indeed cancelled. Boo-hoo.]

California, here I come.....

I just booked tickets to go to San Diego next month. I'm only going for a couple of days (for financial reasons), but I really need to go sit by the ocean, fall asleep on the beach in the afternoon, eat dinner with an ocean view, wake up at 2 AM and listen to the waves.... and not be in 110 degree heat, etc. I got a good deal on Southwest on direct flights. (Ridiculously, other decently priced plans were requiring me to change planes in Utah or Texas!) I haven't booked a hotel yet. I want to go to a resort on a beach or on the bay, and right now, they all cost too much. But...if I keep watching, I bet I can get a good deal (right?). At any rate, if you want to get a FANTASTIC deal at a resort in Arizona, come in the summer (and pay 1/4 of regular price). Of course, you won't want to go out or anything because it's too hot...but other than that, the hotels are nice.

Speaking of beaches, Lost was actually pretty good tonight. I certainly wouldn't mind being stranded on that island, whack-job "Others" or no. I'd even put up with the polar bears.

TV musings

I don't really have an obsessive tv show interest right now, which is somewhat disappointing and also uncharacteristic. Here's what I'm watching these days:

*House-- I really enjoy this show, and I tape it when I won't be home. I love Hugh Laurie more with each episode. However, the characters just don't interest me enough to reach obsession levels. They all behave rather predictably within their assigned roles.

*Veronica Mars-- I still like the characters, but this season has had serious plot issues. I have been watching the first two seasons (DVDs) a lot, and VM fic is my current "comfort food." But...with cancellation looming, I can't pour my heart into it.

*Lost-- Well, contrary to my previous assertions, it seems that the Lost writers do indeed have a plan. Lost has actually set an end date for the series (2009-2010, I believe). Still, it doesn't feel like they're going anywhere. I think the ensemble has gotten to be too big for me to become attached to individual characters.

*24-- As always, I love this show, but it's never been an obsession for me. Jack rocks my world, he'll save the world, and then he'll do it all again next year. With a new cast. And a new girlfriend. Yeah.

*Grey's Anatomy-- This show is growing on me. Also, my favorite pairing is George/Izzie. This makes me a bit angry with the writers because I feel manipulated into supporting an adulterous 'ship. I mean, yes, George was grieving, but CALLIE? Could we come up with a less likely pairing? Of course George and Izzie belong together. So quit it with the furtive looks and kisses and drunken sex, and get a divorce already. Or something. But this isn't fair to Callie, even if I don't like her. And George and Izzie so belong together...and should have known that pre-disasterous marriage. Whatever. I dislike enough of the characters, though, and the general soap opera atmosphere that I can't completely fall in love with this show. However, I am starting to read fanfic, which is always a sign of pending fanaticism. I just read a really cute, funny, tender story set right after Denny's death. It's George/Izzie but mainly friendship. It's called The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions (or, Nobody's Going to Get a Cookie Unless You Two Stop Fighting). Very short. If you watch the show, go read it. It will make you smile.

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately

"Worlds Apart"
by Jars of Clay

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Helping or making things worse?

I was watching The Lost Boys of Sudan and that brought to the forefront something I'd already been pondering. Are we really helping when we bring refugees over to the US? I mean, yes, if there is genocide and persecution, we need to do something, but is taking them out of their own culture the best solution? They end up losing so much. I have been friends with and/or worked with refugees from many countries including Iran, Sudan and Afghanistan. All of them wanted to go back to their country, at least at some point. I don't know how much it costs to relocate refugees etc., but I wonder if that money wouldn't be better spent assisting their home country with whatever problems are leading to an unsafe environment. I think we also have it in our mind that quality of life is based on things like electricity and carpeted floors, when many people would be much happier in a mud hut with their own tribe, with their family, in their own culture (so long as they were free from harrassment, had clean water, etc.). Adjusting from that type of life (and communal living) to the US is not easy and not necessarily pleasant or better. I don't know what the solution is, and I'm sure that this has been analyzed by people who know a lot more about the subject than I do. Of course, I fully believe that refugees who come to the US should be welcomed and assisted, but I just don't know that they are really happier here. I think there has to be a better way to do this. I feel similarly about the illegal immigrant issue. Obviously, the US cannot support the entire population of various countries. They cannot all come here. However, if the Statue of Liberty and its inscription ("Give me your tired, your poor,/ Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,/ The wretched refuse of your teeming shore./ Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,/ I lift my lamp beside the golden door!") is more than a quaint poem, we need to open our hearts and our country to those in need. With the illegal immigration issue, most Mexicans who come to the US illegally come because conditions in Mexico are very bad. Instead of spending so much money trying to keep them out, I wonder what could be done to address the conditions in Mexico that lead to so much poverty and lack of job opportunities.

Imprisoned in a small steel box with four wheels

I spend a lot of time in the car. I don't suppose that's really changed recently, but I've been noticing it more. (Maybe it has something to do with the temperature getting up to 102 degrees. My car has a hard time with multi-tasking so hills plus AC is not always an option.) I probably spend 15+ hours per week in the car. That's a lot of time. Lately, it's also a lot of money. Anyhow, since the mysterious disappearance of one of "my" radio stations, I've been bored. Due to recent life events, too much time for thinking is not really good either. So...I went to the library to pick up a new-to-me cassette audio book and chose Little Altars Everywhere (Rebecca Wells) which is the book prior to The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (which I've already read). So far, I really like it. It's about finding "space" in the midst of trials and using that space to grow and find something new. It's also very funny...and southern. It makes me miss Mamoo (Dani's mom)...and biscuits. Maybe I need to visit Alabama. :) Or at least call Mamoo....

I wanted to post this one in a larger size

More pictures (I hope)

Trying the picture posting again

Okay, so...it seems that I'm the only one who can see the pictures I posted. So...I'm trying this again using a different browser.

I'll try to add more in other posts.

Please note: All pictures are property of Stephanie and may not be used without permission. Thanks!

Some Anne Lamott quotes (more to follow!)

From Traveling Mercies:

“My friends like to tell each other that I am not really a born-again Christian. They think of me more along the lines of that old Jonathan Miller routine, where he said, ‘I’m not really a Jew—I’m Jew-ish.” They think I’m Christian-ish. But I’m not. I’m just a bad Christian. A bad born-again Christian.”

“And soon my prayers were answered, first when patience miraculously descended like soft, chick-yellow parachute silk. Before, I had been fretting and pacing while waiting to hear from the doctor. But patience is when God—or something—makes the now a little roomier.”


From Plan B:

“I think that by kindergarten, the only thing that could have helped me was a nice refreshing drink. If you had just given me a flask, I could have handled things a lot better.”

“[T]his is how we make important changes—barely, poorly, slowly. And still he [Jesus] raises his fist in triumph.”

“[W]hen we get to heaven, we will discover that the appearance of our butts and our skin was 127th on the list of what mattered on this earth.”

“Why couldn’t Jesus command us to obsess about everything, to try to control and manipulate people, to try not to breathe at all, or to pay attention, stomp away to brood when people annoy us, and then eat a big bag of Hershey’s Kisses in bed? Maybe in some translations, he does.”

Suffering for art

I've been taking a lot of pictures lately, mostly of cacti in bloom, and getting good pictures often means getting "up close and personal" with a cactus. I've gotten a few cactus spines stuck in my arm. Today, however, I ended up with over 30 spines all over! I wanted to say, "Please! I come in peace. Call off the attack!" Of course, if you don't pull out a spine, you get a nice shock of pain anytime you bump it or clothing rides over it. So...somehow several spines worked their way through my shirt and bra before I noticed them. As I ducked behind a cactus and stuck a hand up my shirt to yank out the little spears, I comforted myself with my normal line reserved for such occasions: Well, at least no one knows you here. Seconds later, a golf cart whizzed by, and the man cheerfully waved to me. Damn it. He looks familiar. Oh, well.

Babel and general babbling

-I finally watched Babel the other night. I got it from Netflix quite some time ago, but I was never in the mood to watch. I liked it. I didn't love it. (The style is very similar to Crash so your reactions will probably be similar.) I think the moral of the story is that visiting another country is a bad idea. Just stay home. It will save everyone a lot of trouble and heartache. (Important note: I really did not like the sex-crazed-teenager-who-is-deaf subplot. Although the actress playing the character is almost definitely above the age of consent, the fact that her teenage character spends most of her screentime naked is disturbing to me. So...be forewarned.)

-Veronica Mars returned from hiatus last night. Ho hum. If Veronica and Logan don't get back together by the end of the season, I may have to write nasty letters to Rob Thomas. Of course, VM will probably be cancelled so it won't really matter. But still, I can always threaten. At any rate, the fanfic is better than the series. (Well, some of it is....)

-Lost is such a frustrating show. I feel like it goes on and on, but NOTHING HAPPENS! I can't believe how they can have a whole episode with almost no new story! And yet, I keep watching. Why is this?

-I just got the new book by Anne Lamott-- Grace (Eventually) which goes along with Travelling Mercies and Plan B. I generally don't like buying hardcover books, but I didn't want to wait. I love her memoir-y stuff...and she's from Marin. Her books are hysterical, encouraging and raw. However, I haven't been able to "get into" her fiction yet. I tried Blue Shoe and got bored. Maybe I'll have to try a different one.

-A few months ago, I met a bird I liked, but I couldn't find out what it was. I finally discovered this week that it was a Pineapple Green Cheek Conure. Because I know you also want to see pictures, you can click this link here (hopefully). Of course, the aforementioned bird was NOT sweeter or prettier than my bird (who is the most wonderful bird in the world). It might make the top 10 though. ;)

-As I was talking to a co-worker today about the javelina frequenting my complex, she told me that javelina are mean and will attack people. I disagreed with her, and she told me that one of the teachers was bitten by a javelina and had to go through rabies shots. I did some research and found conflicting info. In general though, it sounds like javelina are not aggressive UNLESS people have been feeding them, if they feel that they or their babies are being threatened, if you have a dog, or if you startle them (because they have very poor eye sight). But Lucy, the 13 year old golden retriever, hangs out in her yard every night, next to the wash, as javelina stroll by and munch on flowers. Maybe there's a special golden retriever clause in the javelina attack rules.